Post-Test page 16

Subject: Post-Test page 16 Mon Feb 15, 2010 3:24 pm

Write a paragrph about the topic sentence below. Write at least five sentences that support the main idea.

"Saturday morning is a special time of the week."

Name	1st writing	2nd writing	3rd writing	Grade
Harold	do again	do again	XXX	XXX
Hye-Jin	do again	XXX	XXX	XXX
Hyeon-Joong	do again	XXX	XXX	XXX
Yoon-Ah	do again	XXX	XXX	XXX
Sang-Jun	do again	XXX	XXX	XXX
Name	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX
Name	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX
Name	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX
Name	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX
Name	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX

FBC = feedback coming
TBG = to be graded

Posts : 40 Join date : 2009-09-28

Saturday morning is a special time of the year. First, it is weekend!!!! We can play baseball, watch movies, and do a lot of things. I get to see my aunt and my cousin. They come every weekend. And last, we can travel. If we go traveling, it always starts on Saturday morning. I love traveling.

Subject: Feedback for Harold Tue Feb 16, 2010 1:15 pm

Harold wrote:: Saturday morning is a special time of the year. First, it is weekend!!!! We can play baseball, watch movies, and do a lot of things. I get to see my aunt and my cousin. They come every weekend. And last, we can travel. If we go traveling, it always starts on Saturday morning. I love traveling.

Well done Harold! This is a good little paragraph. You have a topic sentence and all of your ideas support it very well. Keep working hard. You are doing beautifully. Please fix your mistakes in a new post.

Remember to be as precise as possible.

Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost ~~the~~ the ball.
Add a word = [___]

Posts : 28 Join date : 2009-09-24

saturday morning is a special time of a week. because I can get up late in the morning. and I can watch TV and I can play computer games. but, in real I can't play computer games. because my mother says I can play computer games, but I never believe these lies again. when we bought a new computer I refused to buy a new computer. because yoon-ah would may be always use this computer.because it would be go to sister's room. in the result, when I'm playing computer games, yoon- ah always kicks me out of her room, and I can't play computer games. but I like saturday because I can watch TV or reading books all day!

Posts : 36 Join date : 2009-10-01

Saturday morning is a special time of the week. because l can get up later than week day.Also l have many times to read books, study, and watching tv in whole morning. My family as well as l enjoy tea time in saturday morning.Somtimes we could go to trip early.and there is no traffic congestion .

Subject: Feedback for Hyeon-Joong Sat Feb 27, 2010 12:49 pm

Hyeon-Joong wrote:: saturday morning is a special time of a week~~[.]~~ because I can get up late in the morning[,] and I can watch TV and I can play computer games. but, in real I can't play computer games~~[.]~~ because my mother says I can play computer games, but I never believe these lies ~~again~~. ~~when~~ we bought a new computer I refused to buy a new computer~~[.]~~ because yoon-ah would may be always use this computer~~[.]~~ because it would be go to sister's room. in the result, when I'm playing computer games, yoon- ah always kicks me out of her room, and I can't play computer games. but I like saturday because I can watch TV or reading books all day!

It is nice to see that you enjoy Saturdays so much Hyeon-Joong. Your paragraph is good, but you go somewhat off topic when you start writing about the computer going into your sister's room. This seems to be the topic of your paragraph not "Saturday morning is a special time of the week". Try fixing your paragraph by focusing more on your topic sentence and by fixing your mistakes in a NEW POST.

Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost ~~the~~ the ball.
Add a word = [___]

Subject: Feedback for Yoon-Ha Sat Feb 27, 2010 12:57 pm

Yoon-Ha wrote:: Saturday morning is a special time of the week~~[.]~~ because l can get up later than [__] week day. Also l have many times to read books, study, and watching tv in [___] ~~whole~~ morning. My family as well as l enjoy tea time in saturday morning. Somtimes we could go to trip early~~[.]~~ and there is no traffic congestion.

Well done Yoon-Ah. You stick to the topic sentnece and you present some good reasons for why you think Saturday mroings are a special time of the week. Well Done! Fix your mistakes in a new post.

Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost ~~the~~ the ball.
Add a word = [___]

Posts : 40 Join date : 2009-09-28

Saturday morning is a special time of the Year. First, it is weekend!!!! We can play baseball, watch movies, and do a lot of stuff. I get to see my aunt and my cousin. They come every weekend. And last, we can travel. If we go traveling, it always starts on Saturday morning. I love traveling.

Posts : 17 Join date : 2009-12-03

Saturday morning is a special time of the week. First, This is hoilday of start. Second, I can watch the movie on saturday morning. Thrid, I go exercising. Fourth, my mother cook special food for me! Finally, I can sleep more than weekday.

Posts : 37 Join date : 2009-09-28

Saturday is the special time of the week.Becase the next day is Sunday.Also because my most favourite Tv show comes at 11:10 pm. And at Saturday we don`t go to any academy.And I think every one in the world maybe like Saturday.

Subject: Second Feedback for Harold Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:00 pm

Harold wrote:: Saturday morning is a special time of the Year. First, it is weekend!!!! We can play baseball, watch movies, and do a lot of stuff. I get to see my aunt and my cousin. They come every weekend. And last, we can travel. If we go traveling, it always starts on Saturday morning. I love traveling.

Very Good Harold! Please, fix your mistakes in a new post.

Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost ~~the~~ the ball.
Add a word = [___]

Subject: Feedback for Hye-Jin Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:05 pm

Hye-Jin wrote:: Saturday is the special time of the week~~[.]~~ Becase the next day is Sunday. Also because my most favourite Tv show comes at 11:10 pm. And at Saturday we don`t go to any academy. And I think every one in the world maybe like Saturday.

This is good Hye-Jin. You give plenty of reasons for liking Saturday. I personally don't like Saturday all that much because it means I am about to run out of free time. Please, fix your mistakes in a new post.

Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost ~~the~~ the ball.
Add a word = [___]

Subject: Feedback for Sang-Jun Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:16 pm

Sang-Jun wrote:: Saturday morning is a special time of the week. First, This is [__] [start] [of] [___] [___] hoilday ~~of start~~. Second, I can watch the movie on saturday morning. Thrid, I go [___] exercising. Fourth, my mother cook special food for me! Finally, I can sleep more than weekday.

Good work Sang-Jun. When writing be sure to always use the same style. eep working hard. Please, fix your mistakes in a new post.

Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost ~~the~~ the ball.
Add a word = [___]

Posts : 36 Join date : 2009-10-01

Saturday morning is a special time of the week because l can get up later than the week days. Also l have much time to read books, study, and watch tv in the morning. My family as well as l enjoy tea times on every saturdays morning. Somtimes we could go travel early and there is no traffic congestion.

Posts : 40 Join date : 2009-09-28

Saturday morning is a special time of the week. First, it is weekend!!!! We can play baseball, watch movies, and do a lot of stuff. I get to see my aunt and my cousin. They come every weekend. And last, we can travel. If we go traveling, it always starts on Saturday morning. I love traveling.

Posts : 28 Join date : 2009-09-24

Saturday morning is a special time of a week because I can get up late in the morning[,] I can watch TV and I can play computer games. In real, I can't play computer games because my mother says I can play computer games, but I never believe these lies. we bought a new computer I refused to buy a new computer because the new computer would be used by Yoon-Ah all day long[.] because it would be go to sister's room. As a result, when I'm playing computer games, Yoon- Ah always kicks me out of her room, and I can't play computer games. but, I like saturday because I can watch TV or read books all day!

Posts : 37 Join date : 2009-09-28

Saturday is a special time of the week because the next day is Sunday.Also my favourite Tv show comes on at 5:20pm and at Saturday we don`t go to any academy I think maybe every one in the world maybe like Saturday.

Posts : 17 Join date : 2009-12-03

Saturday morning is a special time of the week. First, This is the start of the weekend. Second, I can watch a movie in the morning. Thrid, I go to exercise. Fourth, my mother make special food for me! Finally, I can sleep more than weekday.

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