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Harold
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6 posters
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Admin
Admin
Admin


Posts : 358
Join date : 2009-09-23
Age : 49
Location : Changwon, Korea / Ottawa, Canada

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PostSubject: Post-Test page 16   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeMon Feb 15, 2010 3:24 pm

Write a paragrph about the topic sentence below. Write at least five sentences that support the main idea.

"Saturday morning is a special time of the week."


Name1st writing2nd writing
3rd writing
Grade
Harold
do again
do again
XXX
XXX
Hye-Jin
do again
XXX
XXX
XXX
Hyeon-Joong
do again
XXX
XXX
XXX
Yoon-Ah
do again
XXX
XXX
XXX
Sang-Jun
do again
XXX
XXX
XXX
Name
XXX
XXX
XXX
XXX
Name
XXX
XXX
XXX
XXX
Name
XXX
XXX
XXX
XXX
Name
XXX
XXX
XXX
XXX
Name
XXX
XXX
XXX
XXX


FBC = feedback coming
TBG = to be graded


Last edited by Admin on Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:17 pm; edited 4 times in total
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Harold

Harold


Posts : 40
Join date : 2009-09-28

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PostSubject: Saturday morning is a special time of the year   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeTue Feb 16, 2010 5:41 am

Saturday morning is a special time of the year. First, it is weekend!!!! We can play baseball, watch movies, and do a lot of things. I get to see my aunt and my cousin. They come every weekend. And last, we can travel. If we go traveling, it always starts on Saturday morning. I love traveling.
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Admin
Admin
Admin


Posts : 358
Join date : 2009-09-23
Age : 49
Location : Changwon, Korea / Ottawa, Canada

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PostSubject: Feedback for Harold   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeTue Feb 16, 2010 1:15 pm

Harold wrote:
Saturday morning is a special time of the year. First, it is weekend!!!! We can play baseball, watch movies, and do a lot of things. I get to see my aunt and my cousin. They come every weekend. And last, we can travel. If we go traveling, it always starts on Saturday morning. I love traveling.

Well done Harold! This is a good little paragraph. You have a topic sentence and all of your ideas support it very well. Keep working hard. You are doing beautifully. Please fix your mistakes in a new post.

Remember to be as precise as possible.

Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost the the ball.
Add a word = [___]


Last edited by Admin on Mon Mar 01, 2010 2:58 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Hyeon-Joong

Hyeon-Joong


Posts : 28
Join date : 2009-09-24

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PostSubject: saturday morning is a special time of a week   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeWed Feb 17, 2010 9:21 pm

saturday morning is a special time of a week. because I can get up late in the morning. and I can watch TV and I can play computer games. but, in real I can't play computer games. because my mother says I can play computer games, but I never believe these lies again. when we bought a new computer I refused to buy a new computer. because yoon-ah would may be always use this computer.because it would be go to sister's room. in the result, when I'm playing computer games, yoon- ah always kicks me out of her room, and I can't play computer games. but I like saturday because I can watch TV or reading books all day!
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Yoon-Ha

Yoon-Ha


Posts : 36
Join date : 2009-10-01

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PostSubject: Re: Post-Test page 16   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeWed Feb 17, 2010 10:00 pm

Saturday morning is a special time of the week. because l can get up later than week day.Also l have many times to read books, study, and watching tv in whole morning. My family as well as l enjoy tea time in saturday morning.Somtimes we could go to trip early.and there is no traffic congestion .
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Admin
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Location : Changwon, Korea / Ottawa, Canada

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PostSubject: Feedback for Hyeon-Joong   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeSat Feb 27, 2010 12:49 pm

Hyeon-Joong wrote:
saturday morning is a special time of a week[.] because I can get up late in the morning[,] and I can watch TV and I can play computer games. but, in real I can't play computer games[.] because my mother says I can play computer games, but I never believe these lies again. when we bought a new computer I refused to buy a new computer[.] because yoon-ah would may be always use this computer[.] because it would be go to sister's room. in the result, when I'm playing computer games, yoon- ah always kicks me out of her room, and I can't play computer games. but I like saturday because I can watch TV or reading books all day!

It is nice to see that you enjoy Saturdays so much Hyeon-Joong. Your paragraph is good, but you go somewhat off topic when you start writing about the computer going into your sister's room. This seems to be the topic of your paragraph not "Saturday morning is a special time of the week". Try fixing your paragraph by focusing more on your topic sentence and by fixing your mistakes in a NEW POST.

Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost the the ball.
Add a word = [___]


Last edited by Admin on Sat Feb 27, 2010 12:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Admin
Admin
Admin


Posts : 358
Join date : 2009-09-23
Age : 49
Location : Changwon, Korea / Ottawa, Canada

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PostSubject: Feedback for Yoon-Ha   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeSat Feb 27, 2010 12:57 pm

Yoon-Ha wrote:
Saturday morning is a special time of the week[.] because l can get up later than [__] week day. Also l have many times to read books, study, and watching tv in [___] whole morning. My family as well as l enjoy tea time in saturday morning. Somtimes we could go to trip early[.] and there is no traffic congestion.

Well done Yoon-Ah. You stick to the topic sentnece and you present some good reasons for why you think Saturday mroings are a special time of the week. Well Done! Fix your mistakes in a new post.

Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost the the ball.
Add a word = [___]
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Harold

Harold


Posts : 40
Join date : 2009-09-28

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PostSubject: Saturday morning is a special time of the year   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeSun Feb 28, 2010 8:09 am

Saturday morning is a special time of the Year. First, it is weekend!!!! We can play baseball, watch movies, and do a lot of stuff. I get to see my aunt and my cousin. They come every weekend. And last, we can travel. If we go traveling, it always starts on Saturday morning. I love traveling.
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Sang-Jun

Sang-Jun


Posts : 17
Join date : 2009-12-03

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PostSubject: page 16.   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 01, 2010 6:47 am

Saturday morning is a special time of the week. First, This is hoilday of start. Second, I can watch the movie on saturday morning. Thrid, I go exercising. Fourth, my mother cook special food for me! Finally, I can sleep more than weekday.
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Hye-Jin

Hye-Jin


Posts : 37
Join date : 2009-09-28

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PostSubject: Saturday   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 01, 2010 11:50 am

Saturday is the special time of the week.Becase the next day is Sunday.Also because my most favourite Tv show comes at 11:10 pm. And at Saturday we don`t go to any academy.And I think every one in the world maybe like Saturday.
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Admin
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PostSubject: Second Feedback for Harold   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 01, 2010 3:00 pm

Harold wrote:
Saturday morning is a special time of the Year. First, it is weekend!!!! We can play baseball, watch movies, and do a lot of stuff. I get to see my aunt and my cousin. They come every weekend. And last, we can travel. If we go traveling, it always starts on Saturday morning. I love traveling.

Very Good Harold! Please, fix your mistakes in a new post.

Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost the the ball.
Add a word = [___]
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Admin
Admin
Admin


Posts : 358
Join date : 2009-09-23
Age : 49
Location : Changwon, Korea / Ottawa, Canada

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PostSubject: Feedback for Hye-Jin   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 01, 2010 3:05 pm

Hye-Jin wrote:
Saturday is the special time of the week[.] Becase the next day is Sunday. Also because my most favourite Tv show comes at 11:10 pm. And at Saturday we don`t go to any academy. And I think every one in the world maybe like Saturday.

This is good Hye-Jin. You give plenty of reasons for liking Saturday. I personally don't like Saturday all that much because it means I am about to run out of free time. Please, fix your mistakes in a new post.

Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost the the ball.
Add a word = [___]
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Admin
Admin
Admin


Posts : 358
Join date : 2009-09-23
Age : 49
Location : Changwon, Korea / Ottawa, Canada

Post-Test page 16 Empty
PostSubject: Feedback for Sang-Jun   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeMon Mar 01, 2010 3:16 pm

Sang-Jun wrote:
Saturday morning is a special time of the week. First, This is [__] [start] [of] [___] [___] hoilday of start. Second, I can watch the movie on saturday morning. Thrid, I go [___] exercising. Fourth, my mother cook special food for me! Finally, I can sleep more than weekday.

Good work Sang-Jun. When writing be sure to always use the same style. eep working hard. Please, fix your mistakes in a new post.

Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost the the ball.
Add a word = [___]
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Yoon-Ha

Yoon-Ha


Posts : 36
Join date : 2009-10-01

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PostSubject: Re: Post-Test page 16   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 02, 2010 3:05 pm

Saturday morning is a special time of the week because l can get up later than the week days. Also l have much time to read books, study, and watch tv in the morning. My family as well as l enjoy tea times on every saturdays morning. Somtimes we could go travel early and there is no traffic congestion.
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Harold

Harold


Posts : 40
Join date : 2009-09-28

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PostSubject: Saturday morning is a special time of the week   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 02, 2010 3:22 pm

Saturday morning is a special time of the week. First, it is weekend!!!! We can play baseball, watch movies, and do a lot of stuff. I get to see my aunt and my cousin. They come every weekend. And last, we can travel. If we go traveling, it always starts on Saturday morning. I love traveling.
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Hyeon-Joong

Hyeon-Joong


Posts : 28
Join date : 2009-09-24

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PostSubject: saturday morning   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 02, 2010 6:25 pm

Saturday morning is a special time of a week because I can get up late in the morning[,] I can watch TV and I can play computer games. In real, I can't play computer games because my mother says I can play computer games, but I never believe these lies. we bought a new computer I refused to buy a new computer because the new computer would be used by Yoon-Ah all day long[.] because it would be go to sister's room. As a result, when I'm playing computer games, Yoon- Ah always kicks me out of her room, and I can't play computer games. but, I like saturday because I can watch TV or read books all day!
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Hye-Jin

Hye-Jin


Posts : 37
Join date : 2009-09-28

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PostSubject: Re: Post-Test page 16   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeSun Mar 07, 2010 11:41 am

Saturday is a special time of the week because the next day is Sunday.Also my favourite Tv show comes on at 5:20pm and at Saturday we don`t go to any academy I think maybe every one in the world maybe like Saturday.
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Sang-Jun

Sang-Jun


Posts : 17
Join date : 2009-12-03

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PostSubject: page.16   Post-Test page 16 I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 09, 2010 9:20 pm

Saturday morning is a special time of the week. First, This is the start of the weekend. Second, I can watch a movie in the morning. Thrid, I go to exercise. Fourth, my mother make special food for me! Finally, I can sleep more than weekday.
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