3. Across the Bridge

Subject: 3. Across the Bridge Thu Sep 24, 2009 8:53 am

Making use of the present perfect write a diary entry about everything that has happened so far in the book.
Use and underline 10 words or phrasal verbs from the vocabulary list from this chapter.

Name	Written	Do Again	Do Again	FINISH
Kelly	X	X	X	X
Lisa	X	X	X	X
Name	X	X	X	X
Name	X	X	X	X
Name	X	X	X	X
Name	X	X	X	X

Name	1st feedback	2nd feedback	Grade
Yoon-Ah	Done	Done	TBG
Hyeon-Joong	Done	XXX	XXX
Name	XXX	XXX	XXX
Name
Name
Name
Name

Posts : 28 Join date : 2009-09-24

Annie and jack saw a knight with so surprising feeling. He was wearing shining armor, brighting helmet and riding a big black horse. They crawled out from the treehouse. The night was scattering the small knifes everywhere. and he shuddered with cold. He took a coat that was made with leather. Jack and Annie was moaning with cold weather, too. They trembled their body. But they continued to watch the armor knight. Jack squeezed his hands to get warm. But they absolutely kept watching the knight. The knight shivered his body, too. and he was getting more colder because of his damp armor. The horse whinnyed with cold. suddenly, Annie pushed Jack and peeked what knight was doing. Suddenly, a man loomed in front of the knight. He yanked the knight and examined that horse is fast. and he pierced the horse's ear with a teeny knife. and scooted away from the knight. the horse groaned angrily. It was happening in the misty field.

Posts : 36 Join date : 2009-10-01

JACK and annie were left their home. they went through the foggy forest.
they have gone to the knight's centry. so they arrived at moat of castle ,they were hide and look at the drawbridge.
It was feast of the castleso the inner of the huge room look great and fanfare.
they were peering the word of the castle. there was a beatiful windmill.
knight said, "i have been there before 2 days ago" annie aim at going to the castle.
suddenly, annie has vanished

Subject: Feedback for Hyeon-Joong Sun Oct 11, 2009 6:52 am

Hyeon-Joong wrote:: Annie and jack saw a knight with so surprising feeling. He was wearing shining armor, brighting helmet and riding a big black horse. They crawled out from the treehouse. The night was scattering the small knifes everywhere. and he shuddered with cold. He took a coat that was made with leather. Jack and Annie was moaning with cold weather, too. They trembled their body. But they continued to watch the armor knight. Jack squeezed his hands to get warm. But they absolutely kept watching the knight. The knight shivered his body, too. and he was getting more colder because of his damp armor. The horse whinnyed with cold. suddenly, Annie pushed Jack and peeked what knight was doing. Suddenly, a man loomed in front of the knight. He yanked the knight and examined that horse is fast. and he pierced the horse's ear with a teeny knife. and scooted away from the knight. the horse groaned angrily. It was happening in the misty field.

Hyeon-Joong, you need to rewrite your diary entry. You are Jack. You are writing a diary entry in your diary. Tell me what has happened in your life (chapter 1,2 and 3). In addition, you need to be using the present perfect.

Rewrite your answer in a new post.

Subject: Feedback for Yoon-Ha Sun Oct 11, 2009 7:16 am

Yoon-Ha wrote:: JACK and annie were left their home. they went through the foggy forest.
they have gone to the knight's centry. so they arrived at moat of castle ,they were hide and look at the drawbridge.
It was feast of the castleso the inner of the huge room look great and fanfare.
they were peering the word of the castle. there was a beatiful windmill.
knight said, "i have been there before 2 days ago" annie aim at going to the castle.
suddenly, annie has vanished

Hello Yoon-Ha. This is a first good try, but you need to write this journal entry again. Prtend you are Jack or Annie. Write in the journal using the pronoun 'I'. Using the 'I' pronoun write was happened in the story so far. That is tell me what you have done in chapters 1, 2, and 3. Do not forget to use the present perfect. Finally, remember to underline your 10 words, and use capital letters.

Rewrite you journal entry in a new post.

Posts : 36 Join date : 2009-10-01

Few hours ago. Jack and l went to the knight's centry. At first, We left our house and dashed through the foggy forest. when we arrived in knight's centry, we saw the knight across the drawbridge . therefore, we hide behind the tree that front of the draw bridge.then looked for our book and i planned. l also think about the moat that the crocodiles are living. after that ,i went inner side of the castle. lt was the feast day of the castle. in addition, they decorate the castle to show it so fanfare to another person. The big windmill looks so beautiful, too.whole castle enjoying the feast ,except workers. They seemed so tired.most of the worker carring big trays. suddenly, l saw a knight over there so l go near to him. then listen what he was saying.
He was peering the feast foom and said " i went there 2 days ago, that's too boring'. Therefore l aimed at following him behind 3 meter

Subject: Second Feedback for Yoon-Ha Sat Oct 31, 2009 7:36 pm

Yoon-Ha wrote:: Few hours ago. Jack and l went to the knight's centry. At first, We left our house and dashed through the foggy forest. [1]when we arrived in knight's centry, we saw the knight across the drawbridge . [-1]therefore, we hide behind the tree that front of the draw bridge.[2]then looked for our book and i planned. l also think about the moat that the crocodiles are living. after that ,i went inner side of the castle. lt was the feast day of the castle. [3]in addition, they decorate the castle to show it so fanfare to another person. The big windmill looks so beautiful, too.whole castle enjoying the feast ,except workers. They seemed so tired.most of the worker carring big trays. suddenly, l saw a knight over there so l go near to him. then listen what he was saying.
[4]He was peering the feast foom and said " i went there 2 days ago, that's too boring'. [4]Therefore l aimed at following him behind 3 meter

This is a much stronger work Yoon-Ha. You do very well at placing us in the story. One point you forget is talking about going to the tree house. That is the first chapter of the book.

Do not forget your capital letters.

[1] How did you get to the knight's centry?
[2] What did you plan?
[3] "... it so fanfare to another person." You need to fix this sentence. The use of 'fanfare' in this sentence is incorrect.
[4] I don't understand what is happening here. You need to rewrite the sentences.

[-1] What is the past tense of 'hide'

Rewrite your last draft in a new post.

Posts : 36 Join date : 2009-10-01

Few hours ago. Jack and l went to the knight's centry. At first, We left our house and dashed through the foggy forest. They arrived at the magic tree house they opened the magic book ,and read it .After that , the magic tree house went into the knight's centary.when we arrived in knight's centry, we saw the knight across the drawbridge . Therefore, we hid behind the tree that front of the draw bridge.Then looked for our book and I planned to go into the castle, quitely. l also think about the moat that the crocodiles are living. After that ,I went inner side of the castle. lt was the feast day of the castle. In addition, there are some beautiful fanfare . The fanfare decorate the castle .It looks beautiful. The big windmill looks so beautiful, too.Whole castle enjoying the feast ,except workers. They seemed so tired.most of the worker carring big trays. suddenly, l saw a knight over there so l go near to him. then listen what he was saying.
He was peering the castle and said " l went there 2 days ago, that's too boring'. After he said , he was riding the horse through forset. and take a hunt, he was aimed at little rabbit.

Posts : 28 Join date : 2009-09-24

when I was thinking a plan for going into the castle. I was so hiding in the bushes. I was hidding perfectly, but I worried about Annie. because she was so excited so she seems to be run around everywhere. Finally the event I worried happened. while I was reading blue-leathered book to find a easy way to go into the castle without any guards bother. Suddenly, Annnie jumped over me and running across the drawbridge.
then, she hid behind the knight. fortunately, both guards and knight couldn't know that. Jack jumped over the bushes and did same thing with
any. guards and knight still didn't knew that. we ran into the castle. and we hid in the small size of store house.

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