Admin
Admin
Posts : 358
Join date : 2009-09-23
Age : 49
Location : Changwon, Korea / Ottawa, Canada
 |  Subject: Write On page 9  Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:36 pm | |
| Use this main idea:"One day I put my shoes on the wrong feet." Write a paragraph using the main idea.| Name | 1st writing | 2nd writing | Grade | | Luke | do again | XXX | XXX | | Hyeon-Jin | do again | XXX | XXX | | Name | XXX | XXX | XXX | | Name | XXX | XXX | XXX | | Name | XXX | XXX | XXX | | Name | | | | | Name | | | | | Name | | | | | Name | | | | | Name | | | | | Name | | | |
FBC = feedback coming
TBG = to be graded
Last edited by Admin on Tue Feb 23, 2010 6:47 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
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Luke1502
Posts : 22
Join date : 2009-09-28
| | Subject: Re: Write On page 9 Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:06 pm | |
| One day, I overslept in the morning. I was in a hurry when I was heading for school. I forgot my backpack. I put my shoes in the wrong feet.I dashed to school. After school, I was late for my piano lesson. I still put my shoes in the the wrong foot.I put my shoes on the wrong side formy shoe. a whole day. But I didn't know about the wrong shoes. | |
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Hyeon-Jin
Posts : 23
Join date : 2009-09-28
| | Subject: one day I put my shoes on the wrong feet Mon Feb 22, 2010 7:18 am | |
| One day I was late at school so I put the shoes on the wrong feet. When I was at school my friends was laughing so I looked every where but erey thing was right. It was sports time my feet were uncomfitibal so I saw my feet something was wrong then I new I put my shoes on the wroung way.
Last edited by Hyeon-Jin on Wed Mar 03, 2010 12:58 pm; edited 2 times in total | |
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Admin
Admin
Posts : 358
Join date : 2009-09-23
Age : 49
Location : Changwon, Korea / Ottawa, Canada
| | Subject: Feedback for Luke Thu Feb 25, 2010 12:02 pm | |
| - Luke1502 wrote:
- One day, I overslept in the morning. I was in a hurry when I was heading for school. I forgot my backpack. I put my shoes in the wrong feet. I dashed to school. After school, I was late for my piano lesson. I still put my shoes in
the the wrong foot. I put my shoes on the wrong side formy shoe (I don't understand) . [__] a whole day. But I didn't know about [__] the wrong shoes. This is a very interesting story Luke. There is one little part I don't understand. Please fix your writing in a new post.
Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost the the ball.
Add a word = [___] | |
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Admin
Admin
Posts : 358
Join date : 2009-09-23
Age : 49
Location : Changwon, Korea / Ottawa, Canada
| | Subject: Feeback for Hyeon-Jin Thu Feb 25, 2010 12:07 pm | |
| - Hyeon-Jin wrote:
- one day I was late at school[,] so I put the shoes on the wrong feet. When I was at school my friends was laughing[,] so I looked every where but erey thing was right. It was sporttime my feet were uncomfitibal so I saw [at] my feet [___] [___] something was wrong then I new I put my shoes on the wroung way.
This is excellent work Hyeong-Jin. I think your story is very funny. Well done! Please fix your mistakes in a new post.
Change the word = I saw three hours of cartoons on TV.
Fix the mistake = I last the ball. // I am do my homework. // i forgot my book.
Erase a word = I lost the the ball.
Add a word = [___] | |
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Luke1502
Posts : 22
Join date : 2009-09-28
| | Subject: Re: Write On page 9 Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:06 pm | |
| One day, I overslept in the morning.I was in a hurry when I was heading for school. I forgot my backpack.I put my shoes on the wrong feet. I dashed to school. After school, I was late for my piano lesson. I still put my shoes on the wrong feet. I put my sheoes on the wrong for a whole one day.But I didn't know about my shoes. | |
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| | Subject: Re: Write On page 9 | |
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