John’s Taiwanese Wedding

Korean have belived that korea is a racially homogeneous nation. They had a pride of keeping one nation for long time. But today,
nternational marriage increases rapidly. 1 couple out of 10 couples who married is internaitonal coueple. Many old people can't understand
and be worried about destroying of one nation. However, Yong people's thinking is diffrent. Yong people have a more open mind about
interantional marriage,so they don't really care about 'one nation.'. They have a their own faith and think love can make all problem solve.
I am a one of person who have a similar thinking with young generation.

I agree that culture is important part of marriage. It is certain fact that A couple who has same culture get advantages compare to
international couple. Communication, Food, Behave, Religion....Of course, little diffrences can exist depending on individual, it can't deny
that if culture is diffrent, gap is bigger. But I think more important things for marriage are persoanality and the vaules. Also, Most important
thing in marriage is understanding. Foreigner or korean man who I will married will have a part which need a understanding whatever they
are. His habit, bad points, diffrences... I think If we are not one person, we can't avoid a discording. Through this process, we can be
a mature person. So, It really doesn't matter his cultural backgroud.


On the contary, diffrent culture gave a good effect to a couple. They get a chance to know and understand each other's country.
In this process, They can overcome a biased view and misundestanding. They will be known, peolpe is not that diffrent even if they
have a diffrent cultral background. I saw many international marriage couple in TV, who is looked very happy. The couples said,
" We become stronger when we overcome culture problem, and we really love each other." It shows, cultureal background is just
a little obstacle for love.

In conclusionm I think cultural background is not that important. It can be overcomed and more important thing is persaonaltiy and
values in marriage. "There are no boundary in a love" That's a simple answer for this essay.

　In the past time, Korean killed foreigner because they thought that 'Foreigner was goblin, so they would kill all Koreans.' Like this, Koreans felt hostility or fear toward foreign. But Korea have been changed a lot. We can see foreign actor on movie or TV show easily like Daniel Henney, Dennis O'Neil. In addition, many people start to date with foreigners and to marry to foreigners. Even they often feel hard because they have different way of thinking. Besides, registering their marriage was so complicated. But many couples said, "If I married to Korean who has same value, I really would feel bored. I like these exciting life." Yeah, I like their speaking.

　Like couples' speaking, I think having different culture can be advantage. I and foreign husband will be able to learn each others' cultural philosophy. Actually, policy maker 'Su-jung Mok' write on her book, she got many help from their coversation to make welfare policies. She learned many policies idea from French husband, and French husband got many Korean traditional musical information through thire conversation. They help each others' field.

　Moreover, culture can be combined. Couples can make theirs unique culture. I saw similar case. It is about my parents story. My parents have different values although they lives in same culture. For example, My father thinks reading literature is just for leisure. On the other hand, my mother thinks reading literature makes people's mind mature, so people have to read literature. They debated reading literature quite long time, Soon they realized there is no answer. It's differences of values. And they start to share their books. They usually use these new kind of books very useful in their work places. It can be very small parts, but their new rules effect on me and my brother. And we got many adventage by reading many kind of books.

　In conclusion, I think the most important thing about marriage is love and generosity. If we love our foreign partner, we can understand his own style although we need lots of conversation. If we are generous to foreign partner, Preferably, we can develop our life and culture more beautiful. In addition, I think love and generosity is not limited to foreign marriage. It should apply to every couple. Hence, 'marrying a person from a different cultural background' is not different from normal marriage. We just need a little more generosity.

What do you think about marrying with foreigner? Still some of Korean have stereotype that Korean should marry with Korean. But it's just old fixed idea. Nowadays, international marriage rate is increasing fastly. In 2001, 15234 people married with foreigners. Then in 2005, there were 43121!! So you have to change your stupid ideas. Of course, there are many advantages and problems, but it's your choice, not a strange or wrong idea. The question asks me that would I regard marrying a person from different cultural background or not. If I had foreign boyfriend, I would consider marrying with him.

First, I don't care about the cultural backgrounds. Even you have different faces, language, country and traditions, we are just the same, normal people. We got marry who we love and wants to live with, so I can understand their different culture. If they couldn't understand these little things, it's not a true love. And I think person's most important thing is personality. I want to live with person who is polite to my parents, mannered and kind to me, understand my weakness, with economic strength and smart.

Second, I could experience new life and culture. Today is global era that we have to experience and know many different cultures. It's better to learn it by husband than teachers. If I move to husband's country, I could learn their language fast. I also could make friends in that country that they could show their countries and tradition. I could have better facilities to study or enjoy life, if they are better than Korea. And in future, for my child, they could accept both culture fastly and could choose citizenship.

In conclusion, I agree getting marriage with foreigner because I care about their personality, not cultural backgrounds. Next, I could have new life, experiencing new culture and also well-affect to the child. We have to change our thoughts that people from different country is distinct people from us. We need this equal thoughts to become global nation.

Korean have believed that korea is a racially homogeneous nation. They had a pride of keeping one nation for long time. But today, international marriage increases rapidly in korea. According to newspapers, 1 couple out of 10 couples who married recently is international couple. Many old people can't understand and be worried about destroying of one nation. However, Young people's thoughts are different. Young people have a more open mind about international marriage, so they don't really care about 'one nation.'. They have a their own faith and think love can make all problem solved. I am a one of person who have a similar thinking with young generation.

I agree that culture is important part of marriage. It is certain fact that a couple who has same culture get advantages compare to international couple. Communication, Food, Behave, Religion....Of course, little differences can exist depending on individual, it can't deny that if culture is different, gap is bigger. But I think more important things for marriage are personality and the values. According to OECD, Korea's a divorce rate is the highest 2009. According to Another source, 40% couples reply personality is first reason for divorce. That shows why personality is important.

Also, Most important thing marriage is understanding. Whoever Foreigner or korean man who I will married will have a part need a understanding. His habit, bad points, differences... I think If we are not one person, we can't avoid a discording. So, It really doesn't matter his cultural background. Through this process, we can be a mature person.

Different culture gave a good effect to a couple. They get a chance to know and understand each other's country. In this process, They can overcome a biased view and misunderstanding. They will be known, people is not that different even if they have a different cultural background. I saw many international marriage couples in TV and they are looked very happy. The couples said, " We become stronger when we overcome culture problem, and we really love each other." It shows, cultural background is just a little obstacle for love.

In conclusion, I think cultural background is not that important. It can be overcome and more important thing is personality and values in marriage."There are no boundary in a love" That's a simple answer for this essay.

In the past time, Korean killed foreigner because they thought that 'foreigner was goblin, so they would kill all Koreans.' Like this, Koreans felt hostility or fear toward foreign. But Korea have been changed a lot. We can see foreign actor on movie or TV show easily like Daniel Henney, Dennis O'Neil. In addition, many people start to date with foreigners and to marry to foreigners. But couples have many problems. They often feel hard to understand each other because they have different way of thinking. Besides, registering their marriage was so complicated in Korea. Even these annoying problems, many couples just said, "If I married to Korean who has same value, I really would feel bored. I like these exciting life." Yeah, I like their speaking.

　Like couples' speaking, I think having different culture can be advantage. I and foreign husband will be able to learn each others' cultural philosophy. Actually, policy maker 'Su-jung Mok' write on her book, she got many help from their conversation to make welfare policies. She learned many policies idea from French husband, and French husband got many Korean traditional musical information through their conversation. They help each others' field.

　Moreover, culture can be combined. Couples can make theirs unique culture. I saw similar case. It is about my parents story. My parents have different values although they lives in same culture. For example, My father thinks reading literature is just for leisure. On the other hand, my mother thinks reading literature makes people's mind mature, so people have to read literature. They debated reading literature quite long time, Soon they realized there is no answer. It's differences of values. And they start to share their books. They usually use these new kind of books very useful in their work places. It can be very small parts, but their new rules effect on me and my brother. And we got many advantage by reading many kind of books.

　In conclusion, I think the most important thing about marriage is love and generosity. If we love our foreign partner, we can understand his own style although we need lots of conversation. If we are generous to foreign partner, Preferably, we can develop our life and culture more beautiful. In addition, I think love and generosity is not limited to foreign marriage. It should apply to every couple. Hence, 'marrying a person from a different cultural background' is not different from normal marriage. We just need a little more generosity.

ING

What do you think about marrying with foreigner? Still some of Korean have stereotype that Korean should marry with Korean. But it's just old fixed idea. Nowadays, international marriage rate is increasing fastly. In 2001, 15234 people married with foreigners. Then in 2005, there were 43121!! So I think we have to change this idea. There are many advantages and problems. The question asks me that would I regard marrying a person from different cultural background or not. If I had foreign boyfriend, I would consider marrying with him.

First, the most important thing to care is personality. I don't care about the cultural backgrounds. Even you have different faces, language, country and traditions, we are just the same, normal people. We got marry who we love and wants to live with, so I can understand their different culture. If they couldn't understand these little things, it's not a true love. And I think person's most important thing is personality. I want to live with person who is polite to my parents, mannered and kind to me, understand my weakness, with economic strength and smart.

Second, I could experience new life and culture. Today is global era that we have to experience and know many different cultures. It's better to learn it by husband than teachers. If I move to husband's country, I could learn their language fast. I also could make friends in that country that they could show their countries and tradition. I could have better facilities to study or enjoy life, if they are better than Korea. The difference between marrying with Korean man and foreigner is that I could live like foreigners in different culture, with different people.

Last, in future, it's beneficial for my child. They can learn both language fastly and easily. You know that it's easier to learn mother tongue because we learn it naturally by hearing parents and in life without academies. Also, they could learn both culture easy. In global era it's important to understand each countries. And they can choose their country where they want to live.

In conclusion, I agree getting marriage with foreigner because I care about their personality, not cultural backgrounds. Next, I could have new life, experiencing new culture and also well-affect to the child. We have to change our thoughts that people from different country is distinct people from us. We need this equal thoughts to become global nation.

Hyeon-Ji wrote:

In the past time, Korean killed foreigner because they thought that 'foreigner was goblin, so they would kill all Koreans.' Like this, Koreans felt hostility or fear toward foreign. But Korea have been changed a lot. We can see foreign actor on movie or TV show easily like Daniel Henney, Dennis O'Neil. In addition, many people start to date with foreigners and to marry to foreigners. But couples have many problems. They often feel hard to understand each other because they have different way of thinking. Besides, registering their marriage was so complicated in Korea. Even these annoying problems, many couples just said, "If I married to Korean who has same value, I really would feel bored. I like these exciting life." Yeah, I like their speaking.

　Like couples' speaking, I think having different culture can be advantage. I and foreign husband will be able to learn each others' cultural philosophy. Actually, policy maker 'Su-jung Mok' write on her book, she got many help from their conversation to make welfare policies. She learned many policies idea from French husband, and French husband got many Korean traditional musical information through their conversation. They help each others' field.

　Moreover, culture can be combined. Couples can make theirs unique culture. I saw similar case. It is about my parents story. My parents have different values although they lives in same culture. For example, My father thinks reading literature is just for leisure. On the other hand, my mother thinks reading literature makes people's mind mature, so people have to read literature. They debated reading literature quite long time, Soon they realized there is no answer. It's differences of values. And they start to share their books. They usually use these new kind of books very useful in their work places. It can be very small parts, but their new rules effect on me and my brother. And we got many advantage by reading many kind of books.

　In conclusion, I think the most important thing about marriage is love and generosity. If we love our foreign partner, we can understand his own style although we need lots of conversation. If we are generous to foreign partner, Preferably, we can develop our life and culture more beautiful. In addition, I think love and generosity is not limited to foreign marriage. It should apply to every couple. Hence, 'marrying a person from a different cultural background' is not different from normal marriage. We just need a little more generosity.

ING

This is a good effort so far. I'm looking forward to the final draft. You may want to look at your introduction. You can make it a lot stronger. For example:

Quote :

In the past time, Korean killed foreigner because they thought that 'foreigner was goblin, so they would kill all Koreans.'

In the past, Koreans killed foreigners because they thought that the foriegners were goblins, and that they would be killed by them.

1. Mechanics
This covers the structure of the essay itself -the different types of paragraphs, main idea, topic sentence, supporting details, clincher sentence, conclusion.
So far you are covering this section well. You have all the elements to an essay, however you can easily improved your first point by further developing your example. What kind of welfare policies has she put brought forward to legislators? Or how has the new knowledge of Korean traditional music impacted the man's life? You may also want to look at your conclusion. You are not reiterating the main arguments you put forward in your essay. Rather, you are presenting new points which means that it is not fulfilling its role. What you have at the moment is a new paragraph or a very (too long) long clincher sentence.
2. Language Use
This covers the writer's use of appropriate grammatical structures and vocabulary. Furthermore, spelling, capitalization, abreviation, contraction and punctuation need to be taken into account.
This section is very problematic at the moment. You need to look back to ensure that you have mode and tense agreement. This is by far your biggest problem. You should then take a look at capitalization (I should not see a capital letter in the middle of a sentence or after a comma if the word is not a proper noun).

3. Topic Development
This covers the writer's attempt at answering the question. How is it organized, presented and answered (not if one agrees or disagrees with what has been written, but are the ideas well supported).
The question is would you marry someone from a different cultural background, why or why not? The question is straight forward in that it is a yes or no answer. However, looking at your introduction, I do not see your position. You mention that other Koreans get married to foreigners, but nowhere do you state your position on the question. Next, I also believe that your strongest argument for inter-cultural marriages is your first, and it is better to keep your best argument for last. Finally, your second argument for inter-cultural marriages is good, but you need to bring your paragraph and example to support your main idea (which was not stated). That is that you would marry someone from a different cultural background.

Julie wrote:

What do you think about marrying with foreigner? Still some of Korean have stereotype that Korean should marry with Korean. But it's just old fixed idea. Nowadays, international marriage rate is increasing fastly. In 2001, 15234 people married with foreigners. Then in 2005, there were 43121!! So I think we have to change this idea. There are many advantages and problems. The question asks me that would I regard marrying a person from different cultural background or not. If I had foreign boyfriend, I would consider marrying with him.

First, the most important thing to care is personality. I don't care about the cultural backgrounds. Even you have different faces, language, country and traditions, we are just the same, normal people. We got marry who we love and wants to live with, so I can understand their different culture. If they couldn't understand these little things, it's not a true love. And I think person's most important thing is personality. I want to live with person who is polite to my parents, mannered and kind to me, understand my weakness, with economic strength and smart.

Second, I could experience new life and culture. Today is global era that we have to experience and know many different cultures. It's better to learn it by husband than teachers. If I move to husband's country, I could learn their language fast. I also could make friends in that country that they could show their countries and tradition. I could have better facilities to study or enjoy life, if they are better than Korea. The difference between marrying with Korean man and foreigner is that I could live like foreigners in different culture, with different people.

Last, in future, it's beneficial for my child. They can learn both language fastly and easily. You know that it's easier to learn mother tongue because we learn it naturally by hearing parents and in life without academies. Also, they could learn both culture easy. In global era it's important to understand each countries. And they can choose their country where they want to live.

In conclusion, I agree getting marriage with foreigner because I care about their personality, not cultural backgrounds. Next, I could have new life, experiencing new culture and also well-affect to the child. We have to change our thoughts that people from different country is distinct people from us. We need this equal thoughts to become global nation.

Overall I think this is a good effort. I am looking forward to reading your final draft. You may want to look at your essay and ensure yourself that your pronouns are refering to ideas presented and that all your sentences have complete ideas. For example:

Quote :

So I think we have to change this idea.

What does 'this' refer to? What idea needs to be changed?

Quote :

There are many advantages and problems.

There are many advantages and problems to what?

1. Mechanics
This covers the structure of the essay itself -the different types of paragraphs, main idea, topic sentence, supporting details, clincher sentence, conclusion.
The structure of your essay is good. You present your position and each paragraph has a topic sentence along wiht supporting details. Your first bodyparagraph is your weakest. Your details appear at the end of your paragraph which means that the first few sentences are off topic or not related to your topic sentence. You need to fix this paragraph.
2. Language Use
This covers the writer's use of appropriate grammatical structures and vocabulary. Furthermore, spelling, capitalization, abreviation, contraction and punctuation need to be taken into account.
This is where you are losing most of your points. You need to look at closely at your use of personal pronouns. In the three first sentences of your first body paragraph you use 3 different personal pronouns (you, I, we). You should be using one personal pronoun throughout your writing except in examples. You need to ensure that you have mode and tense agreement.

3. Topic Development
This covers the writer's attempt at answering the question. How is it organized, presented and answered (not if one agrees or disagrees with what has been written, but are the ideas well supported).
You have some good ideas with good details. As mentioned previously you need to work on your first body paragraph to ensure that all your sentences are fulfilling there given role (supporting detail or supporting example).

In the past, Koreans killed foreigners because they thought that the foreigners were goblins, and that they would be killed by them. Like this, Koreans have felt hostility toward foreigners. But Koreans have changed a lot. Now we can see foreign actors on movie or TV show easily like Daniel Henney, Dennis O'Neil. In addition, many people start to date with foreigners and marry to foreigners. But couples have many problems. They often feel hard to understand each others because they have different way of thinking. Besides, registering their marriage was so complicated in Korea. Even these annoying problems, many couples just say, "If I married to Korean who has same values, I really would feel bored. I like these exciting life." Yeah, I like their speaking. I would marry foreigners.

　Like couples' speaking, I think having different culture can be advantage. I and foreign husband will be able to learn each others' cultural philosophy. Actually, policy maker 'Su-jung Mok' writes on her book that she got many helps from their conversation to make welfare policies. She learned many policies idea from French husband, and French husband got many Korean traditional musical information through their conversation. They helped each others' fields.

　Moreover, culture can be combined. Couples can make theirs unique culture. I saw similar case. It is about my parents' story. My parents had different values although they lived in same culture. For example, My father thought reading literature was just for leisure. On the other hand, my mother thought reading literature made people's mind mature. Hence, people had to read literature. They debated reading literature quite long time soon they realized there was no answer. And they started to share their books. They usually use these new kind of books very useful in their work places. It is very small parts but their new rules effect on me and my brother. And we get many advantages by reading many kind of books.

　In conclusion, I think the most important thing about marriage is love and generosity. If we love our foreign partner, we can understand his own style although we need lots of conversation. If we are generous to foreign partner Preferably, we can develop our life and culture more beautiful. In addition, I think love and generosity is not limited to foreign marriage. It should apply to every couples. Hence, 'marrying a person from a different cultural back ground' is not different from normal marriage. We just need a little more generosity. I would marry foreigner with my love and understanding.


　I'm looking for information.

Korean believed that korea was a racially homogeneous nation. They had a pride of keeping one nation for long time. But today, international marriages increase rapidly in korea. According to newspapers, 1 couple out of 10 couples who married recently is international couple. Many old people can't understand and be worried about destroying of one nation. However, Young people's thinking are different. Young people have a more open mind about international marriage, so they don't really care about 'one nation.'. They have a their own faith and think love can solve all problem. I am a one of person who have a similar thinking with young generation.

I agree that culture is important part of marriage. It is certain fact that a couple who has same culture get advantages compare to international couple. But I think more important things for marriage are personality. I can be a friend who has different personality. But I don't use same room with that friend when I go to school trip. Because I know different personality can make troubles. Suppose I'm independent, but one friend doesn't. She asks for help constantly. I can't understand why she doesn't work herself and say her, "Work yourself." She gets angry at me, and move to another room. Like this, I don't want make trouble with my partner who I will live with long time. Also, According to OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development ), 40% couples reply personalities are first reason for divorce. That shows why personality is important.

Also, Most important thing marriage is understanding. The man who I will married will have a part which need a understanding. For example, his habit, bad points, differences... I think If we are not one person, we can't avoid a discording. So, It really doesn't matter his cultural background. Through this process, we can be a mature person.

Different culture gave a good effect to a couple. They get a chance to know and understand each other's country. Through this process, They can overcome a biased view and misunderstanding. They will be known, people is not that different even if they have a different cultural background. I saw many international marriage couples in TV and they looked very happy. The couples said, "We become strong when we overcome cultural problem, and we really love each other." It shows, cultural background is just a little obstacle for love.

In conclusion, I think cultural background is not that important. It can be overcome and more important things are personality and understanding in marriage. "There is no boundary in a love" That's a simple answer for this essay.

Hyeon-Ji wrote:

In the past, Koreans killed foreigners because they thought that the foreigners were goblins, and that they would be killed by them. Like this, Koreans have felt hostility toward foreigners. But Koreans have changed a lot. Now we can see foreign actors on movie or TV show easily like Daniel Henney, Dennis O'Neil. In addition, many people start to date with foreigners and marry to foreigners. But couples have many problems. They often feel hard to understand each others because they have different way of thinking. Besides, registering their marriage was so complicated in Korea. Even these annoying problems, many couples just say, "If I married to Korean who has same values, I really would feel bored. I like these exciting life." Yeah, I like their speaking. I would marry foreigners.

　Like couples' speaking, I think having different culture can be advantage. I and foreign husband will be able to learn each others' cultural philosophy. Actually, policy maker 'Su-jung Mok' writes on her book that she got many helps from their conversation to make welfare policies. She learned many policies idea from French husband, and French husband got many Korean traditional musical information through their conversation. They helped each others' fields.

　Moreover, culture can be combined. Couples can make theirs unique culture. I saw similar case. It is about my parents' story. My parents had different values although they lived in same culture. For example, My father thought reading literature was just for leisure. On the other hand, my mother thought reading literature made people's mind mature. Hence, people had to read literature. They debated reading literature quite long time soon they realized there was no answer. And they started to share their books. They usually use these new kind of books very useful in their work places. It is very small parts but their new rules effect on me and my brother. And we get many advantages by reading many kind of books.

　In conclusion, I think the most important thing about marriage is love and generosity. If we love our foreign partner, we can understand his own style although we need lots of conversation. If we are generous to foreign partner Preferably, we can develop our life and culture more beautiful. In addition, I think love and generosity is not limited to foreign marriage. It should apply to every couples. Hence, 'marrying a person from a different cultural back ground' is not different from normal marriage. We just need a little more generosity. I would marry foreigner with my love and understanding.


　I'm looking for information.

Well done Hyeon-Ji. Looking at your essay, one can see that it has improved with every new rewrite. There are elements of your writing that still need to be addressed, but with hard work and concentration I have no doubt that you will be able to overcome those issues.

1. Mechanics
This covers the structure of the essay itself -the different types of paragraphs, main idea, topic sentence, supporting details, clincher sentence, conclusion.
Looking over all your paragraphs I am pleased to see that you have all the necessary elements to a structured essay. From Your main idea right down to your clincher sentence everything can be found. I would have liked to have seen some tangible examples to support your claims.
2. Language Use
This covers the writer's use of appropriate grammatical structures and vocabulary. Furthermore, spelling, capitalization, abreviation, contraction and punctuation need to be taken into account.
As previously mentioned this is the area of your writing that needs to most work. You were able to address a number of problems such as sentence structure and capitalization as well as verb tense agreement. The biggest problem that resides in your writing after the third draft is vocabulary. You are choosing the wrong words which then makes your writing look or sound awkward. This is not a problem that can be solved overnight, but it is a problem that can be attended to.

3. Topic Development
This covers the writer's attempt at answering the question. How is it organized, presented and answered (not if one agrees or disagrees with what has been written, but are the ideas well supported).
It is nice to see that you have answered the question. The reader now knows your stance on the question asked. I would have placed your first argument last because it is your strongest point. The reason it is strongest is that you talk about culture and creating your own personal culture. That is fine, but you are using your parents as an example and they are both from the same culture. As you can possible see there is no creation of a new culture when two individuals come from the same culture. Maybe you wanted to say that two indiiduals can create their own environment in which different ideologies are shared. You also needed to correct your conclusion becasue as mentioned you are not summarizing your main ideas, but rather presenting two new ideas (love and generosity).

4. Impression on the reader
This is a very holistic grade and should take into account the effort put forward by the writer in presenting his/her work. It should also take into account originality and creativity.
I do believe you worked hard to present your ideas and support your stance as well as correct areas of your writing that were problematic. As forementioned, I really would have liked to have seen your body paragraphs changed position, but overall well done.

1. Mec = B+ // 2. Lan = C+ // 3.TD = B- // 4. IR = A- // Final Grade = B-

What do you think about marrying with foreigner? Still some of Korean have stereotype that Korean should marry with Korean. But it's just old fixed idea. Nowadays, international marriage rate is increasing fastly. In 2001, 15234 people married with foreigners. Then in 2005, there were 43121!! So I think we have to change this stereotype idea. There are many advantages and problems. The question asks me that would I regard marrying a person from different cultural background or not. If I had foreign boyfriend, I would consider marrying with him.

First, the most important thing to care is personality. I don't care about the cultural backgrounds. Even we have different faces, language, country and traditions, we are just the same, normal people. We got marry who we love and want to live with, so I can understand their different culture. If they couldn't understand these little things, it's not a true love. Many couple break up because of their different personality. I want to live with person who is polite to my parents, mannered and kind to me, understand my weakness, with economic strength and smart.

Second, I could experience new life and culture. Today is global era that we have to experience and know many different cultures. It's better to learn it by husband than teachers. If I move to husband's country, I could learn their language fast. I also could make friends in that country that they could show their countries and tradition. I could have better facilities to study or enjoy life, if they are better than Korea. The difference between marrying with Korean man and foreigner is that I could live like foreigners in different culture, with different people.

Last, in future, it's beneficial for my child. They can learn both language fastly and easily. We know that it's easier to learn mother tongue because we learn it naturally by hearing parents and in life without academies. Also, they could learn both culture easy. In global era it's important to understand each countries. And they can choose their country where they want to live.

In conclusion, I agree getting marriage with foreigner because I care about their personality, not cultural backgrounds. Next, I could have new life, experiencing new culture and also well-affect to the child. We have to change our thoughts that people from different country is distinct people from us. We need this equal thoughts to become global nation.

So-Hee wrote:

Korean believed that korea was a racially homogeneous nation. They had a pride of keeping one nation for long time. But today, international marriages increase rapidly in korea. According to newspapers, 1 couple out of 10 couples who married recently is international couple. Many old people can't understand and be worried about destroying of one nation. However, Young people's thinking are different. Young people have a more open mind about international marriage, so they don't really care about 'one nation.'. They have a their own faith and think love can solve all problem. I am a one of person who have a similar thinking with young generation.

I agree that culture is important part of marriage. It is certain fact that a couple who has same culture get advantages compare to international couple. But I think more important things for marriage are personality. I can be a friend who has different personality. But I don't use same room with that friend when I go to school trip. Because I know different personality can make troubles. Suppose I'm independent, but one friend doesn't. She asks for help constantly. I can't understand why she doesn't work herself and say her, "Work yourself." She gets angry at me, and move to another room. Like this, I don't want make trouble with my partner who I will live with long time. Also, According to OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development ), 40% couples reply personalities are first reason for divorce. That shows why personality is important.

Also, Most important thing marriage is understanding. The man who I will married will have a part which need a understanding. For example, his habit, bad points, differences... I think If we are not one person, we can't avoid a discording. So, It really doesn't matter his cultural background. Through this process, we can be a mature person.

Different culture gave a good effect to a couple. They get a chance to know and understand each other's country. Through this process, They can overcome a biased view and misunderstanding. They will be known, people is not that different even if they have a different cultural background. I saw many international marriage couples in TV and they looked very happy. The couples said, "We become strong when we overcome cultural problem, and we really love each other." It shows, cultural background is just a little obstacle for love.

In conclusion, I think cultural background is not that important. It can be overcome and more important things are personality and understanding in marriage. "There is no boundary in a love" That's a simple answer for this essay.

Well done So-Hee! I am extremely pleased with your final draft. You were able to address many of the points I mentioned as well as correcting the many of the mistakes that were present in your second draft. Overall I am happy with what you have done.

1. Mechanics
This covers the structure of the essay itself -the different types of paragraphs, main idea, topic sentence, supporting details, clincher sentence, conclusion.
You did well in this section. You have topic sentneces some supporting sentences and even examples to support your opinion. Well done. Your conclusion could be further developed, but overall this is good.

2. Language Use
This covers the writer's use of appropriate grammatical structures and vocabulary. Furthermore, spelling, capitalization, abreviation, contraction and punctuation need to be taken into account.
Work is still required in this section. Looking at your first body paragraph we see difficulty with vocabulary (choosing the right word), articles and when to use the plural. Many of the problems you exhibit in this area can be corrected with a few simple steps.

3. Topic Development
This covers the writer's attempt at answering the question. How is it organized, presented and answered (not if one agrees or disagrees with what has been written, but are the ideas well supported).
For the entirety of your work, you did well. I believe your strongest paragraph to be the first one with the details and example. Your weakest are your second body paragraph and your conclusion. The second body paragraph appears unfinished. An example to show what you believe would have been appropriate. Your conclusion doesn't adequately summarize your ideas, but it does have a nice clincher sentence.

4. Impression on the reader
This is a very holistic grade and should take into account the effort put forward by the writer in presenting his/her work. It should also take into account originality and creativity.
Your ideas are good and the use of sources such as the OECD is excellent.

1.Mec. = B+ // 2.Lan. = B- // 3.TD = B // 4. IR = A- // Final Grade = B

Julie wrote:

What do you think about marrying with foreigner? Still some of Korean have stereotype that Korean should marry with Korean. But it's just old fixed idea. Nowadays, international marriage rate is increasing fastly. In 2001, 15234 people married with foreigners. Then in 2005, there were 43121!! So I think we have to change this stereotype idea. There are many advantages and problems. The question asks me that would I regard marrying a person from different cultural background or not. If I had foreign boyfriend, I would consider marrying with him.

First, the most important thing to care is personality. I don't care about the cultural backgrounds. Even we have different faces, language, country and traditions, we are just the same, normal people. We got marry who we love and want to live with, so I can understand their different culture. If they couldn't understand these little things, it's not a true love. Many couple break up because of their different personality. I want to live with person who is polite to my parents, mannered and kind to me, understand my weakness, with economic strength and smart.

Second, I could experience new life and culture. Today is global era that we have to experience and know many different cultures. It's better to learn it by husband than teachers. If I move to husband's country, I could learn their language fast. I also could make friends in that country that they could show their countries and tradition. I could have better facilities to study or enjoy life, if they are better than Korea. The difference between marrying with Korean man and foreigner is that I could live like foreigners in different culture, with different people.

Last, in future, it's beneficial for my child. They can learn both language fastly and easily. We know that it's easier to learn mother tongue because we learn it naturally by hearing parents and in life without academies. Also, they could learn both culture easy. In global era it's important to understand each countries. And they can choose their country where they want to live.

In conclusion, I agree getting marriage with foreigner because I care about their personality, not cultural backgrounds. Next, I could have new life, experiencing new culture and also well-affect to the child. We have to change our thoughts that people from different country is distinct people from us. We need this equal thoughts to become global nation.

This is a good effort Julie. You have some very valid points and your supporting details and examples are just. It is also nice to see that you made an effort to correct some of your mistakes.

1. Mechanics
This covers the structure of the essay itself - the different types of paragraphs, main idea, topic sentence, supporting details, clincher sentence, conclusion.
You understand how a text should be structured and try hard to include all of the elements into your work. There is still work required on strenghtening your paragraphs such as ensuring that all the sentences you write support your topic sentence, but overall this is good.

2. Language Use
This covers the writer's use of appropriate grammatical structures and vocabulary. Furthermore, spelling, capitalization, abreviation, contraction and punctuation need to be taken into account.
This is the area that is most problematic so far. With work I have no doubt that you will improve. You need to remember a few simple rules when writing. Choose and stay with the same pronoun and verb mode throughout your writing (make changes when need be such as when presenting an example). Reread your work. There are some sentences that you could have fixd quite easily.

3. Topic Development
This covers the writer's attempt at answering the question. How is it organized, presented and answered (not if one agrees or disagrees with what has been written, but are the ideas well supported).
As mentioned above you presented some good ideas and did fairly well at supporting them. You could have developed some of your points a little more susch as your third body paragraph. You present many details/opinions, but do not support them with any strong facts.

4. Impression on the reader
This is a very holistic grade and should take into account the effort put forward by the writer in presenting his/her work. It should also take into account originality and creativity.
I think you put in a good effort. I would have liked to have seen more of the errors I had mentioned in previous ffedback corrected, but overall you did well.

1. Mec. = B+ // 2.Lan = C // 3.TD = B // 4.IR = B- Final Grade = B-