Chapter Three

The kids went to a venture to buy the puttanesca sause.They thought puttanesca sause was a delightful sause.Then suddenly a tractor came on the lumpy road.They jerked, Sunny fainted . She was too fightened."It was fantasinating!!!"Klaus said laughing.Sunny woke up and distracted him"What`s wrong?" he asked "goo!" Sunny said which meaned 'say sorry to me!' "Please for give me'he said in a sad voice.
Sunny did an impresion of Count olaf it was Count Olaf.
They came home and made the sauce. Count Olaf came he smell the dreadful sause"What smell is this??" he asked.called the troups(his friends).he said don`t come to my house.Because he wanted to eat barbecue

the kids went to a venture to buy puttanesca sauce.They thout it was a delihtful sauce.Then suddenly a tractor came on the lumpy road.They jerked, Sunny fainted . She was too fightened."It was fantasinating!"Klaus said laughing.Sunny woke up and distracted him"What`s wrong?" he asked "goo!" Sunny said which meaned 'say sorry to me!' "Please for give me'he said in a sad voice.Sunny did an impresion of Count olaf it was Count Olaf.They came home and made the sauce. Count Olaf came he smell the dreadful sause"What smell is this??" he asked.called the troupshe said don`t come to my house.Because he wanted to eat barbecue.He grieved then every one got akwardely.Olaf got angry he broke every thing so it got into like a pigsty.in the intial it was ok, but every one didn't understand him.because of only that small situation he looked like a person who ate mechanical thing.then every one perused.Klaus was fordidden for no reason.his tears came like streams.

Count Olaf and his dreadful theater troupe came in. Count Olaf gave the orphans a instruction to bang their at the wall. Then he said " I almost fainted when I came in, this smells like foods from the pigsty!! " , " You mechanical brains, do you thought I will be delighted when I came in? " Olaf's associates laughed. " Ha Ha!!! " So Violet said " I'm so sorry father, forgive us, jerks. " So Count Olaf told them to clean the forbidden tower, and he and his troupe went on a venture to a cafe nearby. When he came back, the children were grieving. But he didn't still forgive them at the sauce. So he told them to sleep in their lumpy bed, and he slept too.

Harold wrote:

Count Olaf and his dreadful theater troupe came in. Count Olaf gave the orphans a instruction to bang their at the wall. Then he said " I almost fainted when I came in, this smells like foods from the pigsty!! " , " You mechanical brains, do you thought I will be delighted when I came in? " Olaf's associates laughed. " Ha Ha!!! " So Violet said " I'm so sorry father, forgive us, jerks. " So Count Olaf told them to clean the forbidden tower, and he and his troupe went on a venture to a cafe nearby. When he came back, the children were grieving. But he didn't still forgive them at the sauce. So he told them to sleep in their lumpy bed, and he slept too.

This is a good first draft Harold. I believe you have the elements to create a very interesting story if you want to. There are a number of sentences that I have difficulty understanding. The sentences below are the most problematic. You might be able to fix them by adding details/more information to them.

1.

Quote :

Count Olaf gave the orphans a instruction to bang their at the wall.

2.

Quote :

" You mechanical brains, do you thought I will be delighted when I came in? "

3.

Quote :

But he didn't still forgive them at the sauce.

I am looking forward to reading your second draft. I am positive you will build a stronger story. Remember! Your story should have a beginning a rising action, a climax, a falling action and an ending. The climax is the part of the story where most of the important action happen.

Write your second draft in a new post.

The kids went to a venture to buy puttanesca sauce.They thought it was a delihtful sauce.Then suddenly a tractor came on the lumpy road.They jerked, Sunny fainted . She was too fightened."It was fantasinating!"Klaus said laughing.Sunny woke up and distracted him"What`s wrong?" he asked "goo!" Sunny said which meaned 'say sorry to me!' "Please forgive me'he said in a sad voice.Sunny did an impresion of Count olaf it was Count Olaf.They came home and made the sauce. Count Olaf came he smell the dreadful sause"What smell is this??" he sked.Called the troupes he said don`t come to my house.Because he wanted to eat barbecue.He grieved then every one got awkwardly.Olaf got angry he broke every thing so it got into like a pigsty.in the intial it was ok, but every one didn't understand him.because of only that small situation he looked like a person who ate mechanical thing.Then every one perused.Klaus was fordidden becausehe didn't listen to Count Olaf.His tears came like water fall streams.

Count Olaf and his dreadful theater troupe came in. Count Olaf gave the orphans a instruction to bang their heads at the wall. Then he said " I almost fainted when I came in, this smells like foods from the pigsty!! " , " You mechanical brains, did you thought I will be delighted when I came in? " Olaf's associates laughed. " Ha Ha!!! " So Violet said " I'm so sorry father, forgive us, jerks. " So Count Olaf told them to clean the forbidden tower, and he and his troupe went on a venture to a cafe nearby. When he came back, the children were grieving. They begged to Olaf to forgive them. Olaf was very angry, so he didn't still forgive them. So he told them to sleep in their lumpy bed, and he slept too. And the orphans had a dreadful sleep.

Count Olaf knew that the children could not cook but he wanted to go hard on them. So when Count Olaf and his theatre troupes came in they could not believe it was there favourite food!! But all of those dirty rascals were evilly evil so they pretended that they HATED the food!!They all shouted:"Do you smell that smell lads?" "I think I'm gonna barf!" "Did the baby poop?" "Children I almost feinted! I'm not very happy!" said Count Olaf.they laughed. Sunny and Klaus started to cry. Then Violet said "I'm sorry father,please don't be angry,jerks and thank you for the insults!"Count Olaf was furies and every body stopped laughing. Count Olaf made them do more chores.The orphans had no sleep they did chores the whole night!!